Tastes like Home

     Jason and I had a quiet evening at home by ourselves tonight. We spent most of the evening doing very exciting things like cleaning and cooking...and we watched a Johnny Depp vampire movie.

     Growing up, we lived on 6 acres with most of my family. My grandparents were across the field in one direction, my aunt and uncle in another direction and for quite a while, various cousins lived in the little house at the back of the property. One of my moms childhood friends lived across the street and is still known as Aunt Nita, so still more family all around. My mom and dad always cooked dinner, It was a really special occasion when we went out to eat. We have definitely not succeeded in making this the expectation for Jonah, but we are changing that slowly but surely. Even though mom or dad always cooked, there were always at least 2 or 3 other meals to pick from for dinner if I wanted to run around and scope out the options (There are advantages to being the youngest in the neighborhood, with cute curly hair :-) ). My favorite childhood foods come from all sorts of houses, but they all taste like home. The most popular thing that my mom cooked that drew everyone else over to our house was the meatloaf. My mom makes a mean meatloaf :-). As we get closer and closer to time to go home, the more that I start craving the recipes that taste like home...We're heading home for Thanksgiving in about 3 weeks so hopefully the home food craving doesn't get tooo out of control in the mean time. I didn't make the same recipe that my mom does because hers has wheat in it, but a few easy modifications and we were good to go :-)

2 lbs ground beef (The beef came from our cow, so it wasn't labeled by weight, probably closer to 2 1/2 lbs)
2 large eggs
1/4 cup apple sauce
1 cup gf bread crumbs
1/2 medium chopped onion
1/4 chopped bell pepper
2 tsp gf Worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup homemade barbeque sauce
1 cup ketchup

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Spray 2 loaf pans (9x5x3) with olive oil. Mix all ingredients (except ketchup) into a large bowl together and then form into loaf pans. Cook for 30 minutes, top the top of the meatloaf with ketchup and then continue cooking for 30 more minutes. Let cool for about 10 minutes before slicing and serving. 

I also made an aluminum foil pouch and threw in some sliced squash and zucchini in with come coconut oil and lemon juice and pepper and put it in the oven to cook while the meat loaf was cooking and steamed some green beans. We had a full meal leftover, plus lunches which is awesome since tomorrow night is Halloween and Jonah will be ready to go make new friends with anyone he can find as soon as we get home, and dinner will already be ready to go. Success!

Breakfast

Breakfast is an under-utilized meal in our house. We put lots of thought into lunch and dinner, but breakfast is still a struggle during the school year because we hit the ground sprinting in our house. I am normally at the gym by 5:15 and Jason is NOT I repeat NOT a morning person so he is sleeping until the last minute possible to allow him to hopefully have a few minutes to drink coffee in peace and then Jonah wakes up either like me or like Jason depending on the day and there's no rhyme or reason to how he's coming out of the gate. Jonah eats some cereal (it's at least non-GMO and organic and obviously gluten free, and it has happy penguins on the front...) Jason drinks coffee and I normally grab a chicken sausage and yogurt once I'm already at school. See...we're kind of epic breakfast failures. This afternoon, I had a chiropractor appointment (I do pretty much every monday) and Jason had to run an errand in Conroe (he missed some dry cleaning when Sadler shut down a few months back and they've been there ever since) so he picked Jonah up from school and I came home and got started on dinner and realized that I had been a flake and forgot to get dinner out.

    I opened the fridge and saw the TJ's turkey bacon and thought that breakfast sounded good. I got ready to start my normal pancake recipe and decided that I would fall it up a bit and added some pumpkin and nutmeg and cinnamon. I cooked some eggs for Jason and got distracted mid grits make for me, so those didn't happen, which is probably for the better, but we had a really good, fairly healthy last minute dinner. Random side note: The Trader Joe's agave and maple syrup is A-MAZE-ING. I don't care if they wanted $15 a bottle, I'd buy it. So so good. We had enough left over pancakes that we took one over to the neighbor and Jonah and Jason will have them again for breakfast in the morning. I think Jonah actually ended up with one in his lunch...he really really liked them.

Pumpkin Pancakes

1 egg
2 tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp melted butter
1/2 cup pureed pumpkin (I used the Trader Joe's organic)
1 cup All purpose GF baking flour (I use Red Mill)
1/4 cup buckwheat flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp ginger
a bit of nutmeg 
1 cup milk (it may also take some cream, we use raw full fat cow milk...It also may take a bit more milk, I had to add a few more splashes of milk to get the right consistency) 

Then cook as normal pancakes :-) I make mine about 1/4 cup of batter per pancake.

    We had Trunk or Treat last night at church. Halloween is basically a holiday created for Jonah. He gets to dress up and go around and talk to people. He has got to be the most social 4 year old I know. He has never met a stranger. I think he had more fun giving out glow bracelets (that was our substitution for candy) then he did going around the parking lot and getting candy. I still haven't figured out what we're doing with the tons of candy we'll end up with because he's cute and friendly, so everyone always gives him a ton. I hate to not let him trick or treat because he just likes talking to people so much, I just end up with tons and tons of candy and I don't want to give it to my kids at school either, which is what I've done in the past, I'm sure Jason has a plan for it...

     The other thing that happened which I'm still kind of trying to process is that one of our friends came to me and told me that our family and our healthy eating plan has been inspirational to quite a few other people. I hear from some people (not very many on here, I'm pretty sure I talk to myself on here) that we as a family have been helpful to them, but I guess I hadn't really stopped to think about it. I really try  and be encouraging instead of judgmental towards people and I think that helps as well. I know that I am still out of control overweight, but it's getting better, but I know that I don't want people looking at me and making assumptions and so I make a good firm effort to not to the same. It's hard to not come across that way because I really do think that everyone would feel better if they made different food decisions and strived to eat closer to the source of the food, but I can't force anyone to make that decision. I also know that I have felt completely hopeless before with health and weight loss and more then anything else, Jonah's health. I was confident to be honest that this wasn't going to be a whole lot different then anything else I had ever tried. I have always said though that I'll try anything in the world that would help and so I did and gave it everything I had, and wouldn't you know, that it worked. I am encouraged that other people are looking at what we are doing and it helps them to want to be healthier. Life I've said before, if we can do it, anyone can. :-)

More family? Yes, please.

My stepmom is a night owl and was able to find the pictures I was looking for. My dad's family is a much smaller bunch, so it has a much different dynamic. My dad is an only child so I don't have any cousins on that side, so family gatherings are way way different on one side of the family then the other. Jonah is the only great grandchild on that side and will be until we have another one (hopefully) or until my sister has a baby (which should be a while still). He is pretty much the rockstar of the family and my Nana pretty much thinks he hung the moon...which he did, so I don't see the confusion there. There's not much that brings her more life then Jonah running laps through her house and making up goofy dances on the spot. It makes me laugh to see her laugh.
   My dad and I have not always had the closest relationship through my teenage years. Part of it is that I lived 1000 miles away and part of it is just that sometimes kids have a battle with their parents through their teenage years. My dad and I don't see eye to eye on every single issue in the world, but we have a mutual respect about just about everything. I'm pretty confident that my dad thinks I can do no wrong. My step mom and my dad got married when I was an older teenager (17, I think) and she is a great balancer for him. They compliment each other well. She is more of a realist with my sister and I then my dad is able to be (basically she's not nearly as soft with us as he is, we can talk him into almost anything). I am blessed to have 4 people to call parents who all would do or give whatever they could to make sure that I am as successful in life in all aspects as possible. I am also blessed to have those same four people who love Jonah more then anything else in the world. There's not much more that I could ask for for my son. I am blessed :-)

When it all comes down to it...

     This is my family. Well most of it, My dad is already asleep, and I am missing the most recent family picture from that side, so they'll get their own post later, and my cousin Jennifer and her two girls (Tiffany and Kayla) are missing from this picture, but other then that, we're all there. This is just the direct lineage from my grandparents, not including the second cousins that were at this same party.  There's so much that you can get from this picture about our family.
     The first thing is the location of this picture. It was taken at my grandparents 60th anniversary party at the local Boilermaker's union hall. My grandparents got married when my grandma was 14 and my grandpa was significantly older, I don't remember exactly how much older, but quite a bit. They have worked hard their entire lives to become both financially and spiritually secure and to leave both of those legacies for generations to come. My grandpa was a boilermaker, He was disabled in the 70's from falling and had a big fall where he hurt his back permanently. My uncle is a boilermaker, my cousin is a boilermaker and other cousins have worked as boilermakers in the past. Even this legacy is something to be proud of.  I was in a parent conference last week and asked the student what he wanted to do when he grew up and he told me he wanted to be a boilermaker like his dad. I mentioned that my family was full of boilermakers and it was an instant source of connection that linked this students family and my own and gave me a deeper insight into his family. I am proud of the work my family has done and continues to do and the importance of hard work that they have always instilled in all of us.
     The next thing you notice is that there are a lot of us. My grandparents have 3 kids (my mom, aunt and uncle) who all together have 9 kids who have 7 spouses between us and have 17 1/2 kids between us (Chrissy is pregnant now). Not all of us are blood related, there are adopted kids, there are step-kids, but when it comes down to it, you would never know by watching our family who is who. We are family.
 My mom (go ahead and try and pick her out in the picture, she looks pretty much just like me) and I have been us against the world for as long as I can remember. She was my biggest cheerleader and motivator for as long as I can remember. She has gently and not so gently pushed and encouraged me to be as successful as humanly possible at everything I've ever wanted to do. She had a way of knowing when my pushy, over achieving self needed a break even before I did and was always the first to make me take one, even if I was doing everything I could to refuse it. That was the most helpful thing anyone has ever taught me to be honest, and it's still a lesson I struggle with regularly.
    My aunts and uncles have been right behind my mom encouraging me and protecting me through out my life. Our family is not real big on boundaries which is an awful thing sometimes, but is awesome in the way that regardless of the situation, people speak their mind. Not awesome in the way that everyone  is involved in everyone's business at all times, but with 4 extra back up parents hanging around all of the time, there was no getting away with anything.
     I was an only child until I was 12. My sister and I have a huge age gap so even after she came, I still was functional as an only child. Never fear...4 of my cousins lived across the field and the rest lived an hour a way. There have been times in my life when I've needed each one differently, but I can think of a specific time when I have depended on each one of them as if they were my siblings in my life. My cousin Ryan and I are 6 months apart, so growing up, we were the best of friends and the worst of enemies...at this point though, it's settled into a best of friends pattern. In college, we could be and were vicious to each other, but no one else has ever been allowed to say anything about the other. Growing up Shelley and Jennifer were the older sisters I never had. I got to go on dates with them (I'm sure that was not their choice looking back on that, but they never seemed to argue about it, at least not in front of me) but they always made me feel included. John was the big brother I needed. I knew that I took priority over just about any girl (or anyone else with John for that matter) when I was little. He also managed to terrify any guy I ever dated that he got to meet, including Jason. Chrissy has been who I have been the closest to out of that set of cousins as an adult. She and I parent the most similarly and tend to have similar outlooks on life. She willingly ran around with me for days at a time this summer with a whole brood of kids and even without them :-). Keri and Ronda have been the most honest encouragers for me. They let me know when I screw up and act like an idiot (well really anyone will do that for me) but then they also let me know how to help fix it. We all struggle together and hurt when the other hurts.
       I realize now as an adult that what we have as a family is not normal. There are some who are not as involved with each other as the rest of us are at any point in time, and that's ok too. Jennifer swears I'm the favorite grandkid, but I had to listen to grandma and grandpa tell me how wonderful she was for 15 minutes a few weeks ago :-). There are seasons for everything, but the one thing that never changes is that when it comes down to it, we have each other's backs.
       Most of our family has struggled with weight at some point in time. Some have struggled with wanting to gain weight, but most have struggled with wanting to lose it, and some with both. My whole family (and everybody else in the world) knows that I am in a season of trying to win a battle of health with my body. I get sweet encouraging notes from my family on a regular basis. It's amazing how they know my heart enough to encourage me, without making me feel like I'll be less then worthy if I don't lose any more weight. It's a sensitive balance for someone like me.  I am still not great at taking compliments, so I often times don't respond because I don't know how to. I appreciate the encouragement more then what any of you realize. I am working towards being able to take it without hesitation :-)

Confession Time

     It's confession time....I have fallen off the wagon. I haven't fallen off, gotten run over and been left for dead as the rest of the wagon train keeps going...I've simply lost my balance, slipped and continued walking next to the wagon. For anyone who knows me, a slip and fall is entirely likely in any capacity for me.
     Let's start with the food. I haven't completely lost my marbles, but I had forgotten about that gusto that made every single thing I put into my mouth a choice. Not as in obsessing about it (more on that later) but as in I can eat a peach (which I love) or ice cream (which I love), well the ice cream is closer, so there ya go! I have fallen off making sure everyone has whole food lunches for school/work and that there is legitimate dinner at night. I may or may not have stooped as low as Bob the Builder brown rice pasta one day this week. See...not an awful choice, but not the best choice I can make for my family.
    The working out...oh the working out. I have this fantastic man named Joey who makes me want to (and not so occasionally makes me actually) say not very nice words to him. I am making progress. I can lift things I couldn't before, I can hold Jonah with less effort. I can run faster and longer and can hold a plank for 40 seconds...all progress. It has gotten substantially harder to get to the gym every day. In fact last week, I made it there not at all. Granted, my asthma was really bad and I was on some meds that limit working out to get that back under control, but if I really wanted to I could've gone to swim or walk or something at least. Instead, I took my commercial grade cough syrup at 9 and then stayed asleep until 6:30 the next morning. It was blissful, and I don't think I coughed one time all night. Success!
    The weight loss....I am stuck bouncing right around my lb mark. That is the 10% spot for me. I have lost 10% of my body weight give or take a pound on any given day. I'm excited about that. It's the first time it's ever happened. Ever. My metabolic issues (thyroid and PCOS) still seem to be completely at bay (I am still on thyroid meds, just at a much lower dose, and my thyroid is way less swollen then it was 4 or 5 months ago). So healthwise...improved.
    I went to the doctor the other day for asthma junk and the MA who did all of my vitals and everything is someone who I'm pretty familiar with since the whole family uses the same doctor and has for 3 or so years now and we are not exactly uncomplicated.  She used the regular blood pressure cuff and it worked! None of this looking at my arm, deciding she needed a bigger one or starting to use the regular one and the walk of shame as they have to go find the bigger one, just the regular old every day blood pressure cuff. A step towards normalcy. I was super excited about the normal blood pressure cuff and she was a bit confused about my excitement until I reminded her that they normally had to use the bigger one...then she joined me in my excitement. Clearly it's not as much of a thought to them about which blood pressure cuff is being used, but I noticed it every single time. As Dr. H was leaving the room, he stopped and came back in and asked me about Jonah and Jason and how the healthy eating was going and told me that he was so amazed that food has made that much of a difference in helping us get towards healthy. I am blessed to have a doctor that encourages that sort of thing instead of trying to overmedicate for things that don't need medication. He also looked at my chart again and said my weight looked great and he wasn't worried about that at all. Words I've never heard from a doctor...ever. Even as a kid (when I really wasn't overweight at all) my pediatrician (who was a wonderful wonderful doctor from Thailand) would poke me in the side and tell me I was going to get a little pudgy if I didn't watch it. Now...is my weight really great, no...but in comparison, we're definitely making progress and it's noticeable, which is even more exciting.

    So all of that to say...I'm ready to stop walking slightly behind the wagon and get back on it. I'm still not feeling 100% from my asthma flare up/cold last week, but I'm better. I think cleaning up my diet completely again and exercising regularly again will get me back to 100% quicker.
    This week I'm shooting for the more attainable goal of the gym MWF and sticking to the menu plan all week. I made two different types of soup today. One is a cabbage soup (I'm not sure why, but my family always called it Dolly Parton soup) and a beef stew. Both are still simmering now and my house smells really good. I stole a bowl of the DP soup a bit early and it was good even without being completely done. I am also going to crock pot cook a chicken tomorrow and plan on cooking steaks one day this week and maybe do a spaghetti (with brown rice pasta) or something similar one night. We will sit down tomorrow evening as a family and make a meal plan everyone can help with and be excited about. I am also going to get back to blogging here...It seems to hold me a bit more accountable to myself and to everyone else if I know someone else is watching what I'm doing.